Stay Gold

The world seems to be ending, but we need to stay positive. If we give into fear, negativity, then it’s game over.

Over the weekend though, I had a freakout moment. I had anxiety and did something that I shouldn’t have. But thankfully, the Universe blocked communication so that I couldn’t do what I attempted. I didn’t even feel ready, I acted on impulse and fear.

It’s hard when you have unresolved issues with someone and there’s nothing you can do. In my case, it makes it harder when he looks at me longingly and I get pulled back in all over again. The way he looked at me made me feel like I was going back in time. To be honest, I wish I was quarantining with him lol.

Staying home is my favorite thing to do so this social distancing is a cake walk for me. It’s been very relaxing and I feel at peace. I am running out of snacks though, so I need to restock soon, lol.

I’m so thankful that I get to work from home and I am moving to my new place next week!

I joke about being back with my true love, but I’m still not ready. Last week I was triggered by a bad customer call and I broke down in tears at my desk. He didn’t want my help, he rejected me and I realized later those were wounds that I’ve been working on healing and they reopened and I unraveled. I’m already a sensitive person, but when you’re going through a tough time, you might as well blow away like a feather.

So I’m gonna take a few extra days off work right after my move and I’ll be back on the 1st. I’m looking forward to this move, a fresh new space where there won’t be old memories, have a fresh start and come back to work strong.

Oh yeah and synchronicities keep happening. Yesterday I called Spectrum to transfer my cable/internet and the rep who picked up had my twin’s name (that’s what I call him since he’s my twin flame). Then one of my customers funded a loan and the homeowner’s name was also my twin’s name. I can’t escape him, even in my dreams. I heard a clear voice in my dream saying his name, followed by ‘he’s coming’. I woke up panicked, lol.

My only wish is to have some type of communication to clear the air. Maybe not now, but soon before the world ends. I just hope he’s not mad at me anymore. Holding on to anger is low vibe. Let that shit go. These challenging times we’re going through is putting things into perspective for a lot of us. It’s time to self reflect and deal with our own shit.

Westworld is baaaack! My heart dropped when I saw her nonchalantly switch from a black dress to this gorgeous gold gown. That’s like symbolic – from darkness to gold.

I saw the phrase Stay Gold on a girl’s arm as a tattoo last weekend and it really struck a chord with me. Ever since then I’ve been seeing a lot of gold in images, songs, shows, etc.

It’s not every day you come across a butterfly. Today I saw, not one, but two red butterflies. To me that was another sign. It made me so happy and made me smile.

I hope you guys are staying safe. Take some time for yourself to self care, relax, be still, meditate, social distancing is very important!! Soon we will come out of this storm, the sun and rainbow will come out for us. STAY GOLD.

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